Will You Cast the First Stone?

I want to publicly apologize for this blogpost. I wrote this almost 3 years ago and a lot has changed since then. My faith has grown. My thinking has gotten broader. I have listened to more stories of the people around me. I have learned that the kingdom of God is much more expansive and inclusive than I ever thought. I publicly affirm the LGBTQ+ community. I no longer believe that people in the LGTBQ+ community are sinning for being who they were created to be. We must all work to decrease the injustices that this community face. It is a problem that Christians should be on the front lines helping to fix. I apologize if this post hurt any of the people I love. I leave it up now, only as a testament to show that people can change. I have changed.

As I am sure that you have heard, Bruce Jenner has officially started his transition into becoming Caitlyn. I know there are lots of opinions being thrown around. Some people say that she is brave and courageous to finally be who she was made to be. Others say that he is a man and that he is disgusting trying to change that.

The truth is, I don't have all the answers.

I am not going to play God and say that I know exactly what is right and wrong. I'm not going to say that Bruce (Caitlyn) Jenner is crazy and delusional. I'm not going to say that he (she) was born that way or not. I don't know. There is scientific evidence on both sides. I also don't know enough to say one way or the other. I don't know whether Bruce (Caitlyn) just wants attention. I don't know whether Bruce (Caitlyn) is just trying to find his (her) place in the world. All of this controversy makes me think. If I had a child someday who came to me and said that they were transgender, what would I say?

"I love you. And that will never change."

I would then tell them of all the pain in this world. I would share with them stories from my life and how I have struggled to cope with pain. Depression. Cutting. Eating disorders. Feelings of loss. Lonely thoughts. Suicide. These would all be topics that I would share with them. I have never struggled with being gay or transgender. But, I do know what it feels like to be out of place. I know how it is to look around the world and wish that you were "normal." But, normal is overrated.

1 Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."

I am not "normal." I am chosen. Jesus has saved me. He has rescued me. He has given me a purpose and a reason. He has made me to praise Him to the end of my days and beyond. That is my identity. That is your identity if you choose it. I have struggled with this a lot. Is my identity in my depression? Cutting? Eating disorders? Is my identity in my looks? Family? Profession? No. The answer cannot possibly be yes. We live in a mixed up world. We do not belong here. We belong with Jesus in Heaven. We are created on this earth for a specific purpose. We are to glorify God and lead others to Him. However, for as long as we are on this earth, we will struggle. We will feel out of place. We can only get through it if our feet are on solid ground, if our identities are in Christ.

"For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority" (Colossians 2:9-10)

In Christ, we are full. We don't need to wrestle with our identities. If my child told me that they were transgender, I would tell them to lean on Christ. I would encourage them to pour through Scripture and discover how loved they are by their Creator, who doesn't make any mistakes. Their pain may not go away. They may always struggle with feelings of being another gender. But, I would encourage them to rely on Christ to not give into sin.

Romans 6:6 says, "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin."

I believe that our bodies can trick us. We live in a sinful world. Sometimes we long for relief and, in the process, fall into the trap of sexual sins. And, from what I have studied in Scripture, I do believe that acting on gay or transgender tendencies is wrong. I also believe that it would be wrong for a straight couple to have sex outside of marriage. These issues are one and the same. I don't understand why it is always wrong to act on gay or transgender feelings and okay to act on heterosexual attractions in marriage. It's easy to wish that all people could just be happy, regardless of who they love. That is where I have to trust God that He knows best. But, I will not slam people who struggle with gay or transgender feelings. I make a lot of mistakes. I sin all of the time. I do not believe that being gay or transgender is the ultimate sin. Regardless of what sins we make, Christ calls us to be crucified in our sinful desires so that we will be free.

The truth is, when we try so desperately to fit into this world, we become chained, in our pain, to sin.

Satan knows this. He wants us to destroy ourselves in the process. But, Jesus came to set us free. He came to adopt us as sons and daughters of the King. Jesus came to love and not condemn. He came to show us His perfect will. I may not understand why Bruce (Caitlyn) must struggle with feeling like a woman. And, if my child struggled with being transgender, I wouldn't understand why either. In fact, I would do anything to take their pain away. But, I have faith that Christ has a bigger plan. My job is not to condemn. My job is to love, to point them to truth, and to pray without ceasing. I will not cast the first stone of hatred at a hurting person. I will not make someone feel worthless because of their struggles. I would not want someone to trivialize my pain with senseless statements like, "He (she) just wants attention. He (she) is going to hell. He (she) should be ashamed."

Only love today. Only love today because Jesus, in His glorious mercy and grace, loved me first.

I will not cast the first stone. Will you?

Beautiful Things

As I read more and more about Jesus' ministry, I am overwhelmed by His compassion and mercy for the lost. He spent every second loving people. He understood their pains, struggles, and heartbreaks. One of my favorite examples of this compassion is Jesus' interaction with the bleeding woman.

For 12 agonizing years, this woman bled. She was considered unclean and unworthy. She had spent all of her money going from doctor to doctor, but no one could help her. Because she was considered unclean, she could not touch another person or be touched by them. She had not been given a hug by a friend (if she had any at this point) for 12 years! And then, when she had about given up, she hears of a man who has healed many people. She feels a soft glimmer of hope arise inside.

Maybe. Just maybe this was her chance. 

I can imagine her desperately slipping through the crowd to get to Jesus. I just think I could understand what her heart might have been like. She was fearful. She had been pushed aside for so long. She just wanted someone to see her, hear her, and hold her. She wanted so much to be free of her brokenness, endless tears, and sleepless nights. Timidly, she kneels down to touch the hem of His cloak. She's so eager for hope but so terrified of rejection. This was her last chance. If this didn't work, then what? She's playing out possible scenarios in her mind. But in this instant, her faith wins out. She touches his cloak. Immediately, she is healed.

Now, Jesus had tons of people all around Him. At that very moment, He was on His way to heal a young girl - someone's daughter, sister, and friend. And yet, He stops. Even though the woman is physically healed, she is still broken and hurting emotionally and mentally. He cannot let her troubled soul pass on untouched. I can picture Him getting down on His knees. He sees her heart. He hears her story. He holds her close. He frees her like no one else could. 

"Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well." (Matthew 9:22)

I feel her pain. I am the lost. I am the broken. I need Jesus every day, every hour, every second. I need Him just to keep breathing. My reliance on Jesus must be never ending. Without Him, I am hopeless. Time and time again, He picks me up. He holds me close. He sees me, hears me, and frees me. 

I know you feel broken sometimes, too. Maybe you are struggling to hold on and you have no idea how to get through this day. You're a mother with one too many children screaming in the backseat. You're a student who just failed a test. You're a husband struggling to provide. You're a pastor who is burdened by the weight of a congregation of hurting people. You have a past that threatens to destroy you. You feel the guilt from mistakes that you made when you weren't thinking. You carry the weight of terrible things done to you. You have no idea how to move on. I understand. But, just like you, I have no idea how to make it all better.

But, I do know this: We desperately need Jesus. And, He desperately wants to help us.

Lean on Him. It's okay to not have it all figured out. It's okay to struggle. And, if you feel like there is no hope, I've been there. But, you will find your way. You will see the hope. Jesus makes beautiful things out of the dust. Our lives may be broken. But, He is the healer. And, as we experience glimpses of freedom in Christ, we can then show compassion to others. We can show them that even in their brokenness, they are beautiful too.